lifestyle
Hey people, this is my sister's voice... She has something to tell you so shh...listen carefully!
Meet Lisa, my big sis!
BREAKING THE MYTH.
Last year I set off on a journey to change my life, yes I mean literally I got a job and moved to another country, it was a humble job not something many people with a degree would do, the hardest part was trying to make those around me understand why I was doing what I was doing and yet I understood their reactions, you see to them I was wasting my time I should be doing what everyone else was and that was either looking for a job or going to law school, there was nothing wrong with these options except ME, had I chosen one of these paths I would have felt as empty as an old tin can, I wanted an adventure I NEEDED one I always stood and wondered how the world outside my world works, what makes them better? What makes them worse? How different are they in their ways and it felt like until I know those answers I would never truly live or settle.
As I had my mind set on this path I knew I will see it through and as much as like to pride myself as a fore seer this quality immediately diminished the moment I set my foot down to this journey and for someone who understands what I mean this almost feels like losing your physical sight. There was the problem of saying goodbye to my loved ones, all I can say is you think you know but truly you don’t , envisioning something and reality are two very different things especially if you are the first one in your family to make such an unpredictable move, where I was going I knew no one and had no expectations from anyone, I thought all that was important was that I was safe and won’t be harassed but it is hard to see my point of view on someone else’s angle I realized, it is one thing to be the one who is leaving but another different matter if you are the one letting go of your child/sibling both difficult and painful in their own ways.
I said my goodbyes and set off to the unknown I had a 6 hour flight to Dubai and a nine hour layover, during this time I saw a side of me I never would have, had I been back home, I was quiet, friendly, bold when I needed help and most surprisingly calm at some point I felt like I was having an out of body experience all I can say is you become very self conscious when you are in unfamiliar territory.
I met this nice Arab family that helped me locate my flight gate (for anyone who has been in the Dubai Airport would understand how massive it is) I somehow managed to get on my second flight (yes I said somehow, no one ever tells you how exhausting flying is) this one lasted for 7 hours, this memory was only a blur I slept through most of this one. I arrived safely and met my employer.
I soon realized just because the flight ended there doesn't mean the journey has in fact I felt like my journey actually began when I stepped out of the plane.
Everything is different, from language to the driving style to their ways of life and the food they eat everything was different and as sensitive as you become when outside your comfort zone, most of these things became difficult for me.
It was quiet overwhelming when the simplest of things become a challenge for you, you will feel dump from time to time if not always but never listen to that voice.
When in doubt think happy thoughts, I remember this one time I was having trouble driving on snow and the corner was too sharp (they have really sharp corners here) I ended up scratching the car, I felt so defeated questioning my decision to come here (at first that is all you will do) I am grateful I found such understanding people who knew better than too be angry at me, but then that night I sat and a thought invaded my mind posing a question, can my employer manage to carry a bucket of 20 litre to and fro a block away to fill up a 1000 litre tank? As the images came up I laughed my heart out my answer….probably but she would need a few tries until she could get the hang of it and even then it would still be difficult. I learned then that we all have a different lifestyle which we are used to and hardly notice it’s difficulties because we were brought up to live that way.
Be easy on yourself, the challenges are real and some of them are unforeseen, don’t be so hard on yourself when you fail (which will happen a lot) but try harder and move forward because that is the only way to go (not always I have witnessed people giving up and leaving but before you make that decision ask yourself if you have come this far to just quit) I think reminding yourself of why you are here in the first place helps.
Every day Is An Exam, I wish I could say that it gets easier with time but in truth that depends on your situation and on you, are you putting enough effort for it to get easier or are you relaxed now that you at least have the hang of it? I believe everyday is an exam despite where you live, the problem is when in a foreign land that is more evident to you (even when it isn’t to the people around you). The Answer? Ready yourself always, I promise you that the victory will feel so good and well deserved.
Get To Know Yourself Better, I mentioned this earlier as I traveled I saw a different side of me, let you know you, I mean how many of us truly know ourselves? Minus the self love *coughs* and righteous? Know what makes you tick, your limits, your anger, your courage, your fear KNOW WHAT MAKES YOU….YOU (again I note that this advice doesn’t only apply to people on a foreign land, if you have the right motivation by all means go for it so long as it is in unfamiliar grounds I believe you will do better there)
Take Time To Know Your God, depending on where you are and what you are speaking, going to church/ or a mosque can be a challenge, but never forget to pray, take time ( you will soon realize that you will have a lot of self-reflective time, talk to God during this time even when you are not praying just talk to him as you do a friend he really does listen)
Never Compare Yourself To Others, this use to eat me up at first I felt dumb as I watched the natives (and other foreigners) do things so flawlessly the truth is we are all different, some have been here longer, some are fast learners than others, accept that you are not like them and learn things at your own pace, if you don’t you will have high chances of depression (even risking your sanity too as it could get very serious if you let it)
Dare To Dream, but this doesn’t always have to come from within, if you are reading this till now you are already daring, allow yourself to dream and see where it takes you.
Dream Big, always have a bigger vision than the one you are in now but be careful because there is a difference in dreaming big and dreaming the impossible, for most people the biggest difference is the effort that you put in, don’t just say you want this by then and put little effort and expect big results, sorry love that will never happen.
Think Outside The Box, be different from others, no man has ever achieved anything grand from being normal, you have to think outside the box going to a foreign land is not exclusively about blending in but it is about seeing what everyone else is seeing but with fresh new eyes, in the end you will realize that your sight is more the wiser since you have been out there, take advantage of that and build something productive for yourself (This is why Trump doesn't want immigrants)
Challenge Yourself, Make up tasks to do every day if you can or at least three times a week, challenge your mind and your body.
Punish yourself, Many people don’t like talking about this, but I believe this is an important part of self-love if you can reward yourself, you can punish yourself when you know you purposely screwed up, deny yourself the simple things you love doing like eating your favorite ice-cream for a week, it may sound silly but it is quiet effective (PS: Don’t just do this cause you are a Masochist)
Reward yourself, I’m sure everyone knows this one treat yourself out once in a while, just don’t spoil yourself :P
Be spontaneous, do the things you would have never thought you would as humans we like predictability more than we care to admit and there is nothing wrong with that but you never know where the road will take you once you allow yourself to do the unpredictable.
Don’t Loose Yourself, it is so easy once you managed to blend in to loose yourself in your new life DON’T KNOW matter how much you have grown do not forget what drives you, where you came from and who you are, I have seen a lot of people here who have completely transformed themselves that they are hardly recognizable if you knew how they once looked like (this doesn’t include losing a few ponds or putting on a great deal of making, the change I’m talking about is mostly in attitude)
When It’s Over, do not forget your experience take them all the good and the bad and keep moving forward the challenges won’t always be there even if you choose to stay after a long while you will better navigate in the other society but the growth will be evident I promise you that and then you will realize something else the pride that you will for yourself will be like no other.
As for me, I am not there yet I’m still navigating through my challenges but instead self-pity now I have self-endurance that helps me push through my challenges.
With love
Lisa💕
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